love? yeah, whatever.

hello, i'm here again and you should know i have something bad to share again huh my lovely bloggie.

since when my blog has become a place to throw all my tantrum instead of sharing nice stuffs/things i met in NZ to you guys?

okay, i don't even know who's still following my blog tho.

PATHETIC.

sometimes i don't really understand why should i have a bf?

and why does he need a gf?

what for?

since that you can do everything with your friends

share everything with them

and i blame you for not having lunch/hanging out with me (as you promised yesterday)

ended up you said it's my fault caused i did not wake up that early and go out with you instead

i thought that you promised me that you will wake me up when you get home and we will hang out in the town together?

and now, it's my fault and you told me i have to blame myself.

okay fine.

i'm PATHETIC.

when i am throwing tantrum to you/mad at you for no reason or maybe for a reason that i want you to realize it yourself

i thought you would understand and maybe just..pacify me back or things like that?

i thought that's what a bf should do.

but you just mad at me back and said you hate me doing this?

you said you angry because of me angry?

because of me throwing tantrum at you?

okay, its's my fault again in the end.

PATHETIC.

should i blame myself for not understanding you well before i started this relationship?

i hate that you always can't keep your promises and most of the time it's because of your friends

i really do.

and i hope you see this.

Tearless

Bruno Mars always make every lyric so romantic.

Just can't stop playing this song.

Wonder if someone would sing this song everyday when we break up.

Haaaa.

Alright, I'm just saying.

I am currently lost confidence in my relationship.

Although the bf and I have been gone through so many things together for about 4 years.

Um-hm.

4 years.

A: Seriously 4 years? God, how did you guys make it? I can't even stand in a relationship for more than a year.

B: Ah-hah. 4 years. Not really long tho.

I don't know if I drag him to New Zealand is a good choice.

Or maybe we shouldn't stay together?

Everything he did simply make me feel like his friends are more important than me in his life.

He meets his friends every Mon-Fri morning because of classes.

Then they will still meet up after class.

Night.

Evening.

Saturday before he goes to work.

Sunday morning.

Sunday night chilling.

I can hardly see my position in his life.

I know, I work 6 days a week and this might also be a reason that cause us can't get together so frequently.

But when the moment I am free, he is still there for his friends.

I am lost.

Really.

I don't know what should I do to fix this.

I asked him about this before.

"The feeling to be with friends is different, you know, it's different."

Okay.

"I'm happy to be with them than you."

That's what I understood from his answer.

Seriously, how do you guys manage your time to spend with your buddies and your gf?

sigh.
should I walk out of your life?